A lot of the wonderful women I work with tend to blame themselves for pretty much everything. It’s like they speak the language of regret fluently. It’s so darn damaging (and frustrating too, by the way). All I want to do is help them break the habit and move forward. I know first-hand that life has so much more to offer us than regret and shame.
“Sitting with regret” is such a visual, huh? I mean, it’s really tempting to park your butt somewhere when you feel bummed about making a mistake. Regret has a way of draining us of our energy. It has a way of making us internalize the crappy parts of life.
But I believe the flip-side of regret is actually a gift — a gift in the form of a lesson. And who doesn’t like receiving gifts?!? Each time I’m given one, I can’t wait to unwrap it, enjoy it, and see how it will impact my life. Gimme, gimme, gimme!
When you make a mistake, you have an opportunity to do just those things. Of course, you’ll have to get off your butt and dust yourself off a bit first. Only then can you truly unwrap the gift, learn to enjoy it, and allow it to impact your life. Yes, you’re receiving this “gift” the hard way. But that doesn’t make it any less a gift.
The truth is, sitting with regret for too long can become unproductive. I’m starting to believe that if someone REALLY wants to move forward, eventually they’ll have to to find the gift on the flip-side of regret. Talking to a safe person about the shame you’re experiencing helps. Asking questions like: “What is this situation teaching me?” or “Where do I see an opportunity in all of this?” are also great ways to start finding the gift. The answers to those questions will result in self-awareness…instead of bumming yourself out with self-blame.
But of course, you should do whatever you want. Your life, your rules, after all. I just wanted to remind you that you don’t HAVE to sit with regret — to live with it.
Gifts are far more fun. And lessons are far more helpful.
So let yourself unwrap the gift already.
Contrary to what you may believe, you’re not unworthy of doing so.
P.S. Remember the February Self-Love Challenge? Well, I’ve tweaked it a bunch and an updated version of it will be available later on this month! Do you struggle with loving yourself unconditionally? If so, make sure you’re signed up for my list and you’ll be one of the first people to learn all about it. XO!