Why I Told 150 Wedding Guests That My Husband Does Not Complete Me
A year ago Dan and I got married in front of fifteen of our closest loved ones, knowing we would host a HUGE shindig to celebrate a few months later. Last month we finally got around to it and celebrated our first wedding anniversary with 150 family members and friends.
The theme of the day was friendship because while it was a party to celebrate our marriage, Dan and I wanted to make it clear how much we appreciate each person in our community. In order to emphasize this point, I gave a speech:
So. This past year has been a whirlwind for me. Not only did Dan and I get married, but I started a new job, graduated from grad school, passed my licensing exam, and we began the process to buy our building. Lots has been happening lately but I cannot think of a better person to be on my team than Dan. Everyone in this room knows how amazing of a person he is. I’m the luckiest.
I’ve got to be honest about something though. As great as he is, Dan doesn’t complete me. He certainly makes life funnier. Busier. Happier. And tastier. (Dan’s a chef.) But he does not complete me. And I do not complete him. Our lives are so much bigger than each other. Today illustrates that in a beautiful way.
I find it absolutely wonderful that we get to spend the last day of our first year of marriage with all of you. I’ve been looking forward to this moment for a long time. Because although our wedding was perfect and filled with more love than I could’ve ever imagined, something was missing. All of you! This was the missing piece to the puzzle of year one. It is you all who add such richness to our lives and complete us, along with the good Lord above.
Tomorrow morning, I look forward to waking up next to Mr. Robinson. I know I will feel such joy and peace. Because today has been a reminder to me that with loved ones like all of you, he and I can do this. You’ve got our backs. Throughout this last year, Dan and I have felt nothing but love and support from each of you. You are our community. You are the loves of our lives. We are blessed to know such amazing people.
Later that night, Dan told me my speech was great, but probably went over a few people’s heads. “I understood what you meant…and I’m not offended at all. But it’s just not normal to say that your husband doesn’t complete you. Society doesn’t teach us that,” he said.
(NEWSFLASH: I am not normal.)
(NEWSFLASH: I am not normal.)
So yes, I’m that girl who told 150 people at her wedding reception that her husband does not complete her. And I did so proudly. Here’s why:
1. It’s true. Dan doesn’t complete me.
2. I rather enjoy challenging the things society tells us to believe, especially regarding relationships.
3. My life is so much bigger than my marriage. My community, my faith, and my experiences complete me. My relationship with myself completes me.
4. There’s a time and a place for romance, but I don’t like romanticizing marriage. Our expectations of marriage are high enough as it is.
5. I was created to tell gals that their lives are so much bigger than their romantic relationships (or lack thereof). I’ll take any opportunity I can to do so. Even my wedding reception.
That’s why you’ll never hear me tell someone else that Dan completes me. I just don’t buy into that kinda crap. I love the man more than words can say. He’s a phenomenal partner and I’m really glad he’s on my team. He’s a big part of my life and I feel blessed by that.
But…he’s only a part of my life.
And I feel blessed by that too.
*Due to the overwhelming interest I’ve received, I will now be operating on a pay-what-you-can model for coaching. Thank you!
[photo credit: Dawn Biery]